Be a parent engaged through hope, rather than through revenge. A parent who is interacting through revenge is creating harm for the children. When a parent’s motive is for revenge, they make decisions and take actions not because those decisions are right for the children, but because they wish to hurt the other parent. Children in this situation get put in the middle and live with the stress caused by the actions of the parents. Parents who interact through hope set aside their emotions and continue to work on letting go of negative emotions and behaviors so they can co-parent. This involves committed practice that does not put the children in the middle. Parents should remain focused on their children’s needs and future rather than on the other parent and the past. TO THAT END --
DO
• Allow your children to love the other
parent.
• Help your children maintain contact
with extended family and friends.
• Allow children to express their fears,
concerns and complaints.
• Communicate important information
regarding medical and school, or any
other important events for your children
to the other parent.
• Help your children prepare for parenting
time emotionally and physically.
• Envision a loving, happy and healthy
family for your children.
DO NOT
• Talk negatively, insult, or allow others
to talk negatively, or insult the other
parent where the children can hear you.
• Have arguments or conversations of
conflict between you (parents) when the
children are present or during parenting
time exchanges.
• Ask your children where they want to
live.
• Have your children serve as the messenger
for your requests to the other parent.
• Bring your children into adult issues and parental
conflicts about custody, parenting time,
child support or the court.
• Allow a stepparent or significant other to
negatively alter your relationship with the
other parent.