Nine Major Money Mistakes In Divorce
The “simple and cheap divorce” is a myth.
Even simple divorces require work, such as divorce decrees that tie-up all lose ends (effective enforcement language, any one?) and post-divorce property transfer documents (deeds, notifications for COBRA, promissory notes, to name a few) to make those decrees work. And cheap divorces should include money spent wisely.
I write should because the “cheap divorce” really refers to two divorces -- the cost-effective divorce and the avoided-costs divorce. Unfortunately, in pursuit of the cost-effective divorce, and under the mistaken belief that their wives are paying less and have, therefore, somehow “won the case,” too many men make major mistakes when it comes to their money – the very thing they are trying to avoid.
Make these mistakes, and your “simple and cheap divorce” will cost you a fortune:
1. SHE HAS TO PAY HALF THE DEBT, RIGHT?
Most jurisdictions apply a rule called “equitable distribution” or “equitable division” to divide assets and debt. The rule sounds an awful lot like “equal” division, and, sometimes, it is. For example, retirement accounts (usually, the husband’s) that accrued during the marriage are divided equally between ex-spouses. However, the same is not true for debt. “Equitable” really means, do what is fair, and, for debt, that usually means the spouse who earns more pays more. Do not go racking up a credit card bill with the assumption that your wife will be responsible for one-half the balance. If she earns less than you, she won’t.
2. THE INHERITANCE IS TO ME, NOT US
If you received an inheritance, you might think all of it is yours – after all, your name appears in your generous great-aunt-somebody’s will, not your wife’s. Not necessarily. In general, any property you acquire between the date of your marriage and the date of your divorce is considered marital property eligible for division (for those of you living in community property jurisdictions, the same rule usually applies). An inheritance might be your separate property, but only if you did not commingle it with marital property or treat it as marital property during your marriage. And that is tough to do. Imagine receiving an inheritance of $20,000 and just leaving it in an account, in your name only, sitting there, and not touching it at any time during your marriage. Most spouses don’t, especially in our economy. If you used that inheritance during the marriage, if you added it to a joint bank account, or even if the divorce court believes your wife needs a share of it, that inheritance is not yours – it’s your wife’s, too. The best thing to do, if you receive an inheritance, is title the property in your name only, deposit the money into an account bearing your name only, and do nothing but leave it alone – until you are safely divorced.
3. BUT THIS CAR HAS ALWAYS BEEN MINE
It’s painful, but most guys’ precious belongings become prime targets in a property dispute. Some guys will buy a toy – an old car to fix-up, a train collection to repair – as a hobby and diversion during a divorce. The problem is, those toys are property, too. Anything you do that causes the property to appreciate is work you are doing for your spouse, too. The best thing to do is leave all your precious belongings alone – don’t go fixing up that car or collection, because the more valuable it is, the more likely you will have to sell it, give it to your wife or fork over some cash to buy her out of “her share.”
4. I KEEP THE BANK ACCOUNT, SHE GETS THE RETIREMENT
A bank account and a retirement account may have the same balance on paper, but that does not mean they have the same value. In the pursuit of a quick settlement with liquid assets, and hoping to avoid an expert’s fees, some guys will swap a bank account for a retirement account. The problem is, $50,000 in the bank now is not the same as $50,000 in a retirement account now. For one thing, to the extent you can access the retirement account, usually you must pay penalties and taxes for making a withdrawal. For another, there may be hidden costs, such as a loan in repay-status, tied to that account. On the other hand, a future stream of income is usually more value, the present day value, than cash. It’s worth a meeting with a CPA or other specialist to have those accounts valued.
5. SHE CAN HAVE ALL OF THE HOME CONTENTS
The household furnishings and holiday decorations may seem insignificant to you, but agreeing to give your wife “all the home contents” or “whatever she wants out of the house” is like writing a blank check – for thousands. Think about it. The computers, televisions, china, entertainment systems, books, etc., all have a value. And that value really adds up. Don’t be afraid to have your home contents appraised so the value is taken into account in your overall property division. Otherwise, the divorce court is likely to assign no or a nominal value to those contents. Obtain the appraisal before you make the argument to your wife’s attorney or in court, though – most judges, and even some attorneys, will dismiss an argument that all of that stuff has value until they have an appraisal in hand.
6. BUT WE GAVE HER THE HOUSE (SECURITY)
You wife might want the house, and she might be able to afford it, by awarding it to her in your divorce decree does not release your liability to the mortgage company. You and your wife can make any agreement you want; the mortgage company does not care and, if she misses a payment, will pursue you for it. That means calls, collections letters and, possibly, a lawsuit. What are you to do if you have to make the payment for her? Most guys, while fearful that this will happen, do nothing in their decree to protect themselves if it does. Get creative – so long as the decree is not against public policy, the judge will sign it. For example, if she misses a payment, you withhold alimony (more on that in the next mistake), or you get to assume the payments and possession of the home, or you can demand the home be listed for sale and the profits, after repaying you, divided, or you keep them. Better yet, require her to refinance the mortgage and provide you with proof of her attempts on a regular basis until she does so. The worse thing to do – and also what many guys do – is require her to “refinance.” This means nothing if you don’t have the enforcement language to back it up.
7. I REFUSE TO PAY ALIMONY
Alimony is not all that bad – really. Many guys refuse to pay alimony because, they think, writing a check every month for years to an ex (who is an ex for a reason, after all) is tantamount to relieving the divorce every month for year. However, alimony is tax deductible from income to you and taxable as income to your ex-wife. You should think of it as a tax planning measure. If you have a choice of paying $5,000 a year as a “property settlement,” which is not deductible to you, and $5,000 a year as spousal support, which is, go for it. Just be sure the support amount is not modifiable upward; otherwise, your ex could reap the benefit of your pay raises post-divorce.
8. SHE NEEDS SUPPORT NOW, SO I’LL PAY IT
If you pay child support, you will get the sob story: I haven’t received the check, I need extra money for clothes, etc. It’s tempting to make a direct payment, lest you leave a kid without food to eat and a bed to sleep on. But this is a trap. Make a direct payment, and, in most jurisdictions, you will not receive a credit toward the child support you should have paid unless the paying parent keeps a copy of the payment (no cash, please!) and a receipt and both parents agree the payment was intended to replace that support. In many states, the direct payment is a gift – no ifs, ands or ors about it. That means, you must pay the same support twice.
9. I DON’T NEED A CPA
Too many men would rather save costs by figuring our tax consequences on their own, maybe with one of those programs you can buy at the grocery store, or, worse yet, ignoring them altogether. However, a divorce is not just about dividing property, venting over who cheated or lied or whatever else went wrong, and making provisions for child welfare. It is a complex transaction that is rampant with tax consequences. What can I deduct? How can I avoid an assessment for property awarded to me? What happens to investments? What filing status do we use? Who claims the children as dependents? What if we owe taxes? You can make agreements in your divorce decree to answer all of these questions. Spend some time with a CPA, in addition to your attorney, to strategize.
But cheap out, and you will make a major money mistake.